• How to Deal with Infidelity in a Relationship

    When infidelity occurs in a relationship, it can be very devastating for the parties involved. Infidelity is one person acts outside of the agreement of the couple which can break the trust and make the relationship feel emotionally unsafe. Dealing with infidelity can be challenging and it raises tough questions. Should you stay? Should you forgive? Can trust be rebuilt? Will things ever be the same?

    If you’ve just found out that your partner has been unfaithful and you’re not sure of what to do, this article is for you.

    It’s important to note that infidelity can occur in any relationship. We often think it’s never going to happen in our relationship, but existing statistics show that infidelity occurs in about a third of relationships.

    Why does infidelity occur?

    You might think your partner was unfaithful because of something you did or didn’t do, but that’s rarely true. Here are some reasons infidelity may occur in a relationship:

    – To feel desirable

    – Impulse/Lack of self-control

    – Boredom

    – Impaired decision making under the influence of drugs or alcohol

    – Sex addiction

    Remember that none of these reasons is an excuse, and the cheater made choices.

    Can a relationship survive infidelity?

    Yes, it’s possible for a relationship to survive infidelity. It means that both partners have to be willing to work hard at rebuilding the trust that has been broken, healing, and making the relationship strong again.

    Here are a few tips:

    – Talk about the affair- It’s important for both parties to have an open and honest discussion about the affair. It also helps to talk to a relationship counselor together, and explore ways that you both can heal faster. It is helpful for each person to have their own individual therapist while also seeking couples therapy.

    – Practice radical honesty– Try to be completely honest with each other about how you feel and how you want to be loved. Honor your emotions. Be honest with yourself about how feel and give yourself space to feel the emotions and process them in a healthy manner.

    – Set a timetable for recovery- Be intentional about your recovery and healing. The betrayed partner deserves ample time for healing and it is important to honor the other person’s recovery process.

    – Reaffirm your commitment- It can be helpful make a commitment to healing from the infidelity. Commit to being intentional about the healing and recovery process and facing your emotions.

    In rebuilding a relationship hurt by infidelity, patience is key. With the support of each other, family, friends and an informed therapist it is possible for a couple to heal after an affair. I offer relationship counseling services for couples and individuals who find themselves in this painful situation, and you can contact me for more information.