• Seven Tips for Getting Through a Breakup

    No breakup is ever easy, but some breakups can make you feel like you’ve been sucker punched. During those times, it can become sincerely difficult to see a way forward or a life without the relationship. Maybe your friends and family have difficulty understanding your struggle, pain, or grief.

    You have every right to your feelings and your personal journey of mourning. Yes, you are allowed to mourn and grieve over a relationship, every relationship. In fact, honoring and recognizing the loss of the relationship, and the impact of the loss will begin to pave a path for you through the hurt and grief.

    I know that things may feel dark right now, but I’ve got two great pieces of news for you. One, you’re not alone – your struggle and experience is valid and difficult. Take strength and peace knowing that many other men and women like you find a way to work through similar tough experiences. And you can too.

    The second piece of good news is that you have the power to heal, grieve, and feel better. Now, I’m not trying to say you can snap your fingers or simply make a mental decision, and suddenly you’ll feel better. Grieving a relationship is a process and there is no timeline. However, you are capable, and there are many ways to begin to heal your pain and live with the loss in a healthy way.

    Let’s get you started with a handful of solid first steps you can take.

    1. Practice self-care. Acknowledge your emotions and also allow time to yourself by indulging in something you truly enjoy after all self-love is the most important love! Do something you’ve always wanted to do, take yourself on dates or buy yourself a present.

    2. Use social media smartly.You might want to stay off social media during this period. Seeing pictures of happy couples on your Facebook or Instagram feed might unnecessarily trigger you. Remember that nobody’s life is as perfect as it appears to be on social media. Set boundaries with yourself with the information you are seeking.

    3. Rely on your support system. We are not meant to grieve alone. Calling your safe support systems, crying it out on the phone can be extremely cathartic, and allowing yourself to be cared for and loved. Allow your friends and family to be there for you.

    4. Find a good therapist. Talk therapy can help you with some much-needed evaluation. Therapeutic processing can help identify relationship patterns, what your true relationship needs are, and empower you to continue to develop a sense of identity.

    5. Seek your passion. Find something that activates you, excites you, and gives you a path. Exploring passions allows you to tap into parts of yourself that you may not have otherwise. This is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and experience a wider range of feelings during your grief.

    6. Practice gratitude. Lean into gratitude and appreciation for the safe, authentic, and supportive relationships you have cultivated. Express gratitude for yourself for the relationship with yourself and self love you carry as you grieve.

    7. Focus on becoming a better person for YOU. Look internally, ask yourself tough questions. For example, “What are parts of myself I would like to improve on?” Grow in as many ways as possible and watch yourself flourish.

    Remember, grieving the loss of a relationship is completely normal. Give yourself the space and grace you need to process the breakup in a meaningful way. You are worthy of grieving this loss. It is not about moving on, it is about moving through and learning more about yourself.